Had macs for the first time in ages (what has it been, 4 months?) and I think I’m having an allergic reaction to it. Ohmyfuckingpisspants god what the holy fuck
Posted January 23, 2012 at 2:29pm
I was shrouded in black, laid in a heavy ornate coffin. Light was absent, and my insides were empty. There was no sound, no rustling and no breathing. There was no life all around. Darkness was omniscient, it swooped in and forced its way down my throat, enveloping itself over me, pushing even the tiniest pricks of light away. Only the sound of your absence filled the entire coffin, it filled my entire body. Behind web spun eyes I saw the shadow of your departing body slowly recede and fade away. My fingers clenched into tight fists over nothing, struggling to find your hands, where they should have rightly been. Where tears should have been there was only dust. Dust, dust, dust. No blood would come, I had been drained and completely hollowed out. Emptiness had become me, I had fallen into the black hole I had always feared you would cast me into. The cold only made your absence, all the more acute.
I spent the longest eternity in a single dream, and when I woke up I found myself stiff and hands tightly clenched. My throat was parched, and my muscles were violin strings. I don’t feel like I’ve woken up to the same reality. Somehow, I’ve woken up into a different world.
I have not left that coffin, the darkness is not lifted. Was it really just a dream?
Posted January 20, 2012 at 1:49am
And we are off to a banging start!
Life has begun to pick up pace, and I foresee that it won’t be slowing down any time soon. Thank god I’ve got my amazing girls to laugh and snigger and whine through lessons with, thank god for my ever patient and loving boyfriend (you are solid gold, gold gold gold) and thank god that all my classes are interesting and keeping me engaged (so far).
Work is awful tiring, but it’s just another week and a half left so… Soldier on it is.
Side note: freaky guys, please fuck off. Im not gonna bother with being nice anymore. Go wank off and hit on some other chick you fucking losers, I only strip for one man and you’re never gonna be him, that spot’s been filled up permanently.
Posted January 18, 2012 at 2:04pm
In an amazingly chipper mood now, a stark contrast to the bleak and honestly downright depressing day I had. Thank you for being so lovely, I love you.
Posted January 12, 2012 at 1:21pm
Why do you have to be so difficult all the time? Why is it always about you? You, you, you. Why the hell do you have to do things that you know won’t work out but you still go ahead with?? I don’t want to, it was my idea so why the fuck do I have to work with someone I don’t want to. Why do you have to make everything so difficult, and always about you??
So frustrated i just want to wash my hands of everything
Posted January 12, 2012 at 6:08am
