Memento Mori

Everytime shit happens (which is often with shitbags like him in my life) I always feel this moment of searing rage and the uncontrollable desire to squeeze my hands around something (preferably his neck). But I know I won’t because I don’t want to dirty my hands with his filth.

Okay, that’s not the point. The point is I wished I could will away all the negativity and angst, I really wish I wasn’t so harsh with my words and so hell-bent on taking things to the extreme. I wish spite and sarcasm didn’t agree with me so easily all the time, and I wish I had it in me to let go and let live.

BUT I CAN’T YOU MOTHERFUCKER SO ROT IN HELL YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. WHY DON’T YOU GO DIG A HOLE AND DIE IN IT. BETTER YET, PICK UP A BOOK AND DIE BEFORE YOU GET PAST THE FIRST LINE YOU PIG HEADED BEAST OF AN UNFORTUNATE ORGASM YOU DICKFACE FUCKER. hope your dick rots and falls off with all the masturbating you do you assfuckinghole

Ah, much better. Goodnight.

Edit - to be fair, I only hate one person this intensely and I would kick him out of my life and wash my hands off this whole damn affair but unfortunately I can’t. It just takes one asswipe to fuck up my life….

Good luck with the rest of your life because seriously dude, you can’t lose your shit over something as trivial as an envelope and still expect to be worth more than a god-sent family business that’s already set up and running smoothly for you. Go fuck your stupid self and I really feel sorry for your unborn child. You fucking moron.

The insecure feeling of imminent, whirring change keeps tugging at me lately. Soon this internship will be over. In two weeks, the all-important interview looms.

Time is moving too quickly for me to even fully absorb my experiences.. It’s only been six months and yet university life seems an entire lifetime away. As though it was only a distant dream.

But how do you feel everything and nothing at the same time? How do you keep the words from spilling through your lips, even when they weigh like a thousand stones pushing past your teeth? How do you look away from the pain and stand with such fragile, such precarious balance? Do you close a door and go away inside? Do you see a different face, or go back in time? Teach me, teach me so I can do the same, so I can live with myself knowing I kept my silence when the world needed to hear my roar. So I may sleep, so I may love guiltlessly, and think that all is right when everything is wrong.

ARGHGHHHGHHHHHHHHGH DSEHVMLTR. DCHNDTJLHBCZXVXCYRILN;6’c bomb

Fuck why did I type bomb

It’s all about finding something you’re meant to do. Make it your own, work really hard and hope to hell it succeeds. I just need to finish this fucking internship so I can start carving the future I so dearly want.

So slurpy so slurpy